“Start out perfect and don’t change a thing. Always accentuate your best features by pointing at them. And conceal your flaws by sucker punching anyone who has the audacity to mention them.”
- Miss Piggy
In a class of 50+ women, you found a place on the floor and manned dinky little hand weights with the rest of us. When asked by the instructor who was new, you raised your hand fearlessly, and when asked your reasons for coming, you responded, “I’m just trying to get healthier, and I wanted to try something new.” Bravo.
Surrounded by girls who looked at you askance, you marked choreography. You learned to cha cha. You laughed and had no trouble making a fool of yourself. When a load of loutish freshman boys walked by the doors to the gym, pointed you out, and laughed, you returned a roguish grin (in no way lessened by the sweat running down your face) and gestured to the ridiculously fit and attractive blonde next to you and shrugged.
In addition to an admirable attitude, your shimmies, dear sir, are magnificent.
Moreover, we saw you checking out that same cute blonde to the right of you, making funny comments to her during water breaks, and offering to turn in her weights for her when class was over. I watched you fumble cutely to ask her out, sweaty mess that you both (to say nothing of the rest of us) were. I’m pretty sure I saw her give you her number; I sure hope I did. I think you earned it.
Sashay on, sir!